Realize

Days had passed, i remembered that told you off. I just wanted a lot of things to be clear between us. That's all.

"I don't want to listen how hurt you were! I was hurt too!" These words keep appearing in my head when you told me how hurt you were. Deep down, i feel like crying, it reminds me of that time. You practically brought me back to the past. I put all back and so that i could move on but seems like you refresh that memory....

I remember back to March where i confessed. I said i never expect more but my heart wants more. What was i thinking? It was so foolish, there was all disaster happens. I pushed forward and step further, making you feel "disturbed" towards me. The whole of April month was the worst month i've been! The feeling of missing someone. On the 1st of May, we went out and that came rejection. Before that, I knew P will reject you, P also knew i like you a lot. We thought that you may give me a chance but it is you didn't give yourself a chance. That was the disappointment i receive. It was a false move i made. I tried again. two days later, where P wanna reject you, I was hoping that P says first but i happen to say first, i also hinted some things gonna happen on that day. I wanted to let you know that P will reject you and then to let you know that i m here. I was still trying for a chance but it didn't go as planned. Things fall apart and i tried even more even though i know i will fail. I didn't lose hope but for what? It was pointless cause you won't even care. June was the turning point for the pain in me, i'm slowly letting you go, setting my heart free. I regret to make the false move till this, it was all my fault. Starting of July, is where i managed to let you go. I move my own way, you move your own. I felt happier after that. To prove i let go, i clear my thoughts by seeing the one. I moved on and hit on the one but weren't suitable. I guess it was a worthy try to find out right?

Now, things has changed. I'm afraid that i get back the feel again. If you never intend to then don't do it. I didn't get my chance and i believe i never will. In that case, what's between us? I don't know anymore. Just let it be, for now.